Rob Bell, Stars, and a Rat

Tonight, two little boys continually said, “Give me, give me about random things and then proceeded to go crazy and slap Jill and I on certain lower anterior areas of our anatomy. To which Jill responded, “What? Are you serious?” haha

Tonight, I saw a rat on a wall. And it was way too big. And it ran really fast.

Tonight, the sunset was beautiful… simplistic in the fact that the sky was mostly clear of clouds, vibrant in colors, and quite subtle as it faded into an endless blue dotted with specks of light. Infinite, incomprehensible beauty.

Tonight, the girls and I listened to a Rob Bell sermon on the second of the seven woes, recorded in Luke 11 and Matthew 23. In the passage, Jesus criticized the Pharisees for being more concerned with the outside of the cup (our life) than with the inside… Though they cleaned the outside of the cup, the inside was filled with greed, wickedness, and self-indulgence. Bell’s point was that we should live an undivided life, where the outside of the cup is just a reflection of the inside. Clean the inside and the outside will take care of itself. Be real before God and man.

Tonight, God encouraged our weary hearts, stimulated our minds, and lifted our spirits with love.

Tonight, I was reminded once again of the truth of the following statement: “The pursuit of the truth is far more important than the possession of it.”-Albert Einstein

Tonight, I partook of my first communion in Africa which consisted of mandazi and water… And I about cried because of the beauty that I found in that simplicity.

Tonight, I was reminded once again how much I love Jill and Bethany.


While listening to Rob Bell’s sermon (yep, for all my friends- Jill goes to Mars Hill and gets to listen to Rob Bell on a regular basis—lovewins…lucky) from Mars Hill from September 16, and something that he said really hit me. It wasn’t even part of the sermon really, just something that he said at the beginning of his comments on Jesus and a conversation with the Pharisees. During a prayer at the beginning of his talk, he said, “As we long for a reconciled heaven and earth, please tap us into the big themes—the big story—so that we can be a part of it.”

Tap us into the big themes. The big story…. so that we can be a part of it. The big picture. After he finished his sermon, I tried to think about the big picture for the first time in a long time as I listened to Explosions in the Sky while watching the sky grow dark and the stars grow brighter and brighter…seemingly exploding into the night sky. Lately I’ve done a terrible job about being concerned with the big themes. Forgive me for the jumbled up, disorganized train of thought that could possibly follow…

Love… blinding, bright, passionate love that lights up the sky at night as the bright sun descends and sets in an explosion of color while being capped off by the subtle transition to a black sky filled with small specks of light… representing that star, burning fiercely millions of light years away…

Love…that lights up the night sky in the morning as the sun begins it’s ascent in a softer, but equally beautiful sunrise in which the darkness of night is finally chased away by the light of the Son, as it pierces the darkness and extends its long fingers into the shadows…

Love...unconditional, radical love that died on a cross for the sins of the world and broke the chains of legalism, tradition, and sin for all who cling to that cross. And that same Love chased away the darkness of death after three days, claiming victory over darkness, pain, and death for all time.

And I get to see it…. I get to experience it. I get to feel that blinding, unconditional, and vibrant Love that daily puts on a light show of explosions in the sky just because it can. I get to see that love bring tears to the eyes of a child who has been driven from home to the brutal streets by parents that beat him…I get to see that love rescue a young Masaii girl from a future of FGM (Female Genital Mutilation), forced marriage, and polygamy…I get to see that love rescue an abandoned child addicted to glue from the streets…I get to see that love bring three very different people together to embark on a quest to experience that love, follow it, and seek to lose enough of ourselves in order to become channels of that love to the world.

“So what can I say and what can I do, but offer this heart, O God, completely to You? So I’ll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned—in awe of the one who gave it all. I’ll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered. All I am is Yours.” -Hillsong United

Now that I have seen these things and experienced this great love…I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead. This love manifested in salvation allows me to have an inexpressible joy, an unfathomable peace, and an unexplainable hope…even in the pain, suffering, and death I see daily. These things that I have seen and this love that I have witnessed demand my life, my time, and my all… Maybe I didn’t ask to be here and be responsible for all that I have seen, but I’m here, I’ve seen it, and I am now responsible to do something about it… to tell the world of that love. To feed and clothe a child on the streets. To look at an AIDS victim and pour forth love from my eyes. To tell their story so that they may never again be invisible. And while doing so, maybe then I’ll actually be alive… not just in a medical sense, but truly alive. That’s the big picture…at least for tonight with my characteristic idealism.

The big picture for me tonight revolves around love. I will never completely understand… I may search for all the answers, but I will never know them. I still haven’t found what I’m looking for—heaven on earth—but I’ll keep looking ahead to that…and I’ll keep pursuing truth on this journey. And I’ll continue to believe that along the way, all three of us will discover our vital connection to God and one another. That we will truly be ALIVE.

Never settle!

lovewill

"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we are called home." To Write Love On Her Arms